I am nineteen years old and it already feels like my life is passing by so quickly that I dont even get the chance to appreciate it. Every day I wake up and follow my daily routine. Shower, school, homework, work, gym and then its already time for bed. How is this considered living life? I sat there thinking about this while I was supposed to be studying. And I felt so scared. Is this all that is life? Go to school, get a good job, drive a nice car, marry a nice guy, buy a big house and raise your kids... to follow this same ritual every day and hopefully have them turn out just as "successful" as you. This is what is expected of us. This is what is considered "right" and "accomplished". This is what we all strive for... and get rewarded for when we achieve it. As I sat there I realized that this is not what I want my life to be. On my dying day I wont be thinking about how much I learned from school, or how many hours I spent at work, I wont remember all the pointless numbers and formulas. I will remember when I was out there breaking the rules, experiancing new things, seeing new places, meeting new people, falling in love with cultures and cities, and making crazy (but fun) mistakes. Today I realized that all my days blend into one long day that always consists of the same thing. I also realized that the times I remember most were when I was out there in Europe wandering the streets of Paris in the pouring rain absoulty soaked and misrable... yet alive and happy. Or in Israel when I was standing on top of a mountian looking at the most beautiful sunset on top of one of the most holy spots...not thinking about anything, not trying to memorize any facts or thinking about any stress. When I drank for the first time and woke up in a puddle of my own throw up... but man did that bring me a story that I wont ever forget. Walking through Amsterdamn after I had just gone to a sex show and ate a space cake. Or trying absinit in Prague. Sitting around a bon fire in the middle of the Israeli desert listening to one of my friends sing and play his guitar. The first time I ever snuck out of my house to meet my first love out on the street. Or wandering through New York City on my first trip alone with only my friend. These are the times I will remember most. When I broke free of my routine. When I broke the rules and made my own standards of what was "expected" of me. I want to live my life free. I want to travel and to see everything this beautiful world has to offer. I want to try new and dangerous things. I want to break away from these tedious "expectations" and standards of "wrong and right". Today I realized that the only wrong in my life will be not experiance all that life has to offer. And to me it is wrong not to break the rules once in awhile... Not to try something that everyone might not approve of... but something that you have always wanted to do. It is wrong not to travel and see other people, other countries, other lifestyles. It is wrong to consider what we hold as "right" is the only thing that is acctually right.
Looking out on the sunset in Israel
The funnest night of Europe... Rhine Valley
Sex Show!!!
Rainy Paris
On top of the World
Enjoying the little moments
New York City
Beautiful Seattle
Swimming in the Dead Sea.
Isn't it crazy how fast life passes you by- if you let it? We have to keep enjoying the little moments, and experiencing big ones. I love you and miss you. Let's experience things...together :)
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