If you exist you have one. If you are 5 you worship them. If you are 13 you hate them. If you are 16 you challenge them. If you are 20 you learn to appreciate them. If you are 25 you start getting comments that you remind people of them. If you are 30 you get to be a mom to. If you are 46 you get to turn to them and ask them HOW the HELL they survived.
Basically, moms are pretty incredible... And with out them, none of us would exist.
I just got home from spending a week on vacation with my own mom... During that time I really realized how much our relationship has grown and changed in the past year.
Watching my mom go through loosing her mom was one of the hardest things. People dont really realize how fragile life is, until its lost. I dont think that anyone of us ever pictures or thinks about the moment when we will no longer have our moms or dads... But the truth is that death is inevitable, and there will be a day where we have to come face to face with that fact.
As I spent those days with her it really dawned on me how much I need her and how much I respect, love, and treasure her.
Something that I should show far more often....
Thinking about my grandma and how much I wish that I had said and done for her just to show her how much she ment to me. Never getting the chance.
You just dont find closure.
I dont want to have that same feeling with my mom or my dad. I want them to someday leave me knowing how much they ment to me and how much I learned, loved, and prospered because of them.
Its such a heart wreching and SCARY thought... Someday I wont have my mom too run to in order to fix my problems, hold me, give me advice. Someday I will have to be a strong and loving mother. Someday I will no longer be someones child...
But before that someday comes I feel like it is my biggest feat and challenge as a daughter to give back to my parents... And show how much I truley appreciate and love them.
This last week was one I will never forget.
Yes, there were times I needed my space, rolled my eyes, or bite my tough. But more often then not I was so happy to have her there with me.... Someday.... Ill miss those moments, and long for more of them.
My mom said to me, how it feels SO weird not to have her parents around anymore. How she feels like now there is no one that she can run to for comfort at ANY time. How she isnt someones little girl anymore... How strange it feels to know that her mom and dad are gone.
When she was saying this I saw how hard it must be... Because my unbreakable mom, is breakable when she talks about it. And it scared me... I cant imagine not having them around. I cant imagine not being someones little girl anymore.
I also realized how amazing my mom is for handling that kind of pain with such dignity. I know I could not do it. I only strive to have the kind of strength that she has.
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