Personal Mission Statement

Before this semester started I made myself a promise. I promised myself that I would be strong and do whatever I had to in order to ensure that my grades, relationships and health would not be affected. Unfortunately, I did not plan on so many changes happening in my life at once.

The last few months have been like a hurricane for me. It hit me that life seems to do that- it throws in every single change at once. Tests you. Challenges you. Pushes you.

Looking back on my life helps me make sense of things. Good and bad. There have been times like this for me before, times when I didnt know what was going to happen. Feeling out of control. Uncertainty chasing me.

Moments that I now make meaning of, in the past seemed so unclear. My grandma getting diagnosised with brain cancer. My moms heart and health problems.  My dad loosing his job. Ashley moving away from me. My brother and nephews being so far away. The roller coaster that Alex and I have been on together. Loosing my friendship with Angie.

Some of these things I still dont understand fully. Yet, I am thankful that each one happened to me because in those moments I was the most vunerable, real, and alive version of myself.

Those moments made all the good ones THAT much better for me. Those moments define my life and remind me that I cant ever give up.

I remember sitting in my room and crying. Crying because I didnt know why this was happening to me, feeling alone, scared, uncertain. It comes right into my mind- the picture of me surrounded by nothing but questions.

Questions that have been answered by experiences in my life when I remember who I am and WHY I am here. Times when I am with the people I love most. Traveling. Eating my favorite food. Laughing. Helping. Growing. Living. Being.

Right now, I need to fight through this. Everything that has happened in my life has lead me in the direction that I am supposed to go... The hardest times have made the best times THAT much better. They have reminded me of my power and my strength. They have taught me that I can make it through anything and in the end; I might not have the answer. I might NEVER get the answer. But, I will still be OK.

I wrote this prior to this semester to help remind myself what I stand for and the type of person that I want to be. The principles that I want to live my life by. I wrote this to remind myself of my own personal power and agency. I am choosing to share this with you for the purpose of reminding myself to keep living my life as the best version of myself and to possibly help others take the time to think about their principles. What do you want to leave behind? What do you stand for? What do you want? How do you want to present yourself in this world?

These questions also sometimes cant be answered. Yet, it is better to ask then to ignore them...  Sometimes we forget the bigger picture.

Here is my personal mission statement and the principles that I feel are important for me to live by:

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Personal Mission Statement

My mission is to live my life as the best version of myself and make a lasting impact on the people around me.

To fulfill this mission:

I will be honest: No matter how difficult or uncomfortable the situation is; I will be honest about my feelings, opinions, and perspective. I will explain my reasoning and listen openly to understand another perspective. I will not lie or agree with something that I do not feel is right. I will listen with a purpose of understanding another person’s outlook and will clarify with them if I do not understand something.

I will sacrifice: I will devote time and effort toward living my life in a way that involves principles that I find important. I will ensure that no matter how stressful, time crunched, or unmanageable things become I am able to make time for a moment to collect myself and remember my mission and purpose in life. I will take time to remember why I have chosen this particular path in my life and remind myself of all the blessings that I have.

I will inspire: I will become the best version of myself and hope that my friends, partners, colleagues, and clients can experience all that I have to offer as a person. I will teach by example and never loose my ability to remain calm and collected. I will always put my best forward in work, relationships, and all other important aspects of my life.

I will be impactful: I will make a difference in the lives of my family, friends, and clients. I will do something for each meaningful person in my life that will express how much that they matter to me. I will be the best friend, daughter, lover, sister, and therapist that I can be.  I will be there for the people that I love when they need me.

I will be responsible: I will always follow through with commitments that I make to my friends, family, and career. I will arrive on time for all of my scheduled appointments; answer and return phone calls, and time manage my priorities. I will make sure that I follow up with all of my clients and provide them with a stable and trust-worthy relationship. I will remember important dates in the lives of my family and friends and remember to congratulate them. I will learn how to manage my money and spend only 25% of what I make. I will save my money for experiences and travel rather then material things.

I will make time: I will make time for self-care activities, friends, and family. I will work out at least 4 times a week, no matter how busy my schedule becomes. I will make it a priority to eating healthy and in moderation this will be important in maintaining a healthy and comfortable weight.  I will read my personal mission statement often. I will write my thoughts down when I am struggling with something or cannot find clarity. I will update my blog at least one time a month and allow myself to free associate.

Individual

Daughter

Lover

Sister

Friend

Student

Therapist

   

Tunnel

I am worn out. I have never felt so helpless in my entire life.

Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually right now it feels like there is no fuel in the engine and I am forcing it to start anyway.

Going into this semester I knew it would be a challenge juggling all of the responsibilities between school, interning, and work. However, I didn't expect for it to affect so many different areas of my life.

Knowing that I would be running place to place on no sleep seemed so far away just a few months ago. Now my days are all blending together and suddenly I am already three months in and I have no idea what has happened in the world around me during that time.

Don't get me wrong... I love what I am doing. I love actually being able to work with people and finally be able to make a difference in their lives. Right now, I think the fact that I am helping others go through sometime difficult is the only thing keeping me going...

Knowing that if I give up... I might be taking away that child's only opportunity to feel heard or cared about by someone for the first time. Showing them that when things get hard they have to fight through it.

Thats what keeps me going.

Literally, my day begins at 6:30 am and doesn't stop until 12:30 am- and somehow I still feel like there aren't enough hours in the day to do everything that needs to get done.

It's like living in a tunnel in which there is not sense of time or reality. Its just constant go, go, go. To do list after to do list.

The hardest part for me is that I feel like I am loosing the ability to appreciate it. Appreciate the fact that I finally made it to the place I have worked so hard for. It blows my mind that it has become so difficult for me to take a moment and realize what is happening RIGHT now in my life...

Fulfilling my purpose. Helping others. Providing guidance. Making a difference. Doing something that I love. Making meaning out of my life and time here. Learning and growing. Healing.

Yet, it feels like there is so little time to appreciate it to be fully present in it. I am so caught up it the maintenance and "should" of every moment that I am unable to take a moment and just reflect on the beauty and meaning that this type of work brings into my life.

I hope with all of my heart that I soon settle into this new routine and am able to remember these precious moments of my life. The first moments of me doing exactly what I love and was meant to do... The first clients that find hope, empowerment and change their lives. My own growth and change as I hear stories that humble me and remind me of the darkness in the world.

I worked so hard to get to this place and it feels so surreal that it is flying by and I am not able to process what is going on inside of myself during this process.

The saying "nothing good every comes easy" keeps popping into my head and reminding me that I need to push myself forward. I need to read. I need to write. I need to do the paperwork.

It all goes together into making me the type of therapist and person that I want to be. Providing me with experience to have a good work ethic and provide the best service I can for the people I will work with throughout my career.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel.  I know it. It seems unreachable right at this moment... Probably because I dont even know what day it is or actually what month I am in.

Yet, something inside of my wont let myself give up. It wont let the anxiety and lack of sleep win. Because I am stronger then that. I want this more then that. Most importantly, this isnt something that I cant handle.

Its important for me to keep on fighting and push through this next year and a half. Trying my best to not get caught up in the wrong things and never letting myself get resentful that this has become the reality of my life because of the path that I choose.

Knowing that it will end. Graduate school will be over and I will make it through it alive... Hopefully having enough energy to at least walk across the stage and get the piece of paper that I need in order to keep making a difference.

I end here with a quote that reminds me what all of this is for and a few pictures of the last few months:


"I don’t make things for a living. I live for a living. I am myself for a living. I seek beauty for a living. I think and contemplate for a living. I experience for a living. Seems so easy and obvious to me, and yet there is no term for it. In our society, it seems, you have to be defined by your job title. When meeting new people I can usually count on “what do you do?” being one of their first questions as they form their perception of me. To date I believe I never repeated the same answer, nor do I feel I have given one that was readily understood. I do what I once thought was impossible and, I suspect, in most people’s minds still is.

When I try to explain, I am almost always met with skepticism. Can you make a living doing that? Well, yes. You won’t see me featured in Fortune or Forbes any time soon but when I add up my monetary income to the intangible joys of a free and inspired life, I consider myself richer than most of those who are. Livelihood may be measured in dollars and cents. Life is measured in degrees of freedom. Living is measured in meaningful experiences. Yes, I make a very good living.”