Truth Be Told.

Truth be told.

Happiness, fear, pain, anger, bliss, friendship, love, betrayal.

I feel it all.

And despite the act I can put on: My mask of strength. My costume of being unbreakable.

Truth be told.

I am.

I am breakable.And I have been broken.

I have learned to hold back. I have learned to put on a suit of armor and carry my head high despite feeling my lowest. I have learned that it is not ok to show people how deep it hurts me when I feel betrayed. I have learned that it is better to act as if nothing matters, even when everything does.

Why do I have this outlook?

Because I have learned it the hard way.

I don't think that the people who have hurt me the most... even really know it. I don't think they realize that even though I have forgiven them, I cannot forget. I don't think people know that it hurts me when they say bad things about me. I don't think that they know that deep down... I still care.

I am good at acting strong. I am strong.

But I also am weak, in many ways still.

I am still hurt by my best friend.
I am still hurt by the person I love.
I am still hurt by the friends I thought would always be there... and aren't.
I am still hurt by what bad things people have said about me.

But I don't show it.

I cant forget what it felt like.
I cant forget how easy it was for the most important people... to just walk away.

Sometimes I wonder how they cant see it.

It hurts me that it cant be how it used to be.

But truth be told.

It wont ever be.

I have learned to be strong. I have realized that people change, and that life long friendships... can be broken.

I guess its just still hard to remember "how it used to be". And not help but feel that is how it is "supposed to be".

But its not.

Because if it was supposed to be. They wouldn't have left. You wouldn't ever have felt used, hurt, or alone.

Truth be told..

My suit of armor really isn't as hard as stone.