Kicked Around.

I have a few things that really bother me about people.

Most of the time I consider myself pretty tolerant and open minded about how other people choose to live their lives.

But there are some things that I just cannot help but feel agitated by.

For example, how certain girls think they are "in love" with each and every single guy that comes into their life. 

We all know these girls... They jump from relationship to relationship with out taking any time to figure out why things dont ever work out. 

Its quite annoying that they think that it is ok to throw around the word "love" like it doesn't mean anything. 

I dont understand how you can say that someone is  "the love of your life", and then a few months later profess that someone else is now "the love of your life" and a few months after that.... 

Get the cycle?

Sure, most of use will love a variety of men throughout our life. "First Love" does not mean it will be your last or only love. But, I can say with confidence that none of us find the "one" in each man that comes into the picture. 


But apparently some women have the illusion that anyone can be "the one".

I used to be jealous of them. I used to spend a countless amount of energy thinking: why can I get that many people to fall in love with me? Is there something wrong with me? What is so special about them and not me? What would it feel like? Am I not pretty enough? Am I not good enough?

A few years later, I can now see how stupid it was of me to be consumed with jealousy and insecurity, questioning WHY these girls were so much better then me.

I finally figured out, that I would never want to be in the shoes of even one of them.

Now, I realize something very important. These girls dont have real love. In reality, they have no idea what real love even is. 

I now pity them. They think that they need a guy to defy themselves, or make them feel adequate. 

Yeah. I havent had a million boyfriends, kissed 50 people, or dated every fish in the sea. But I have had true love, and I have had ONE person who has stuck by me, through thick and thin.

One person who taught me nearly every lesson about love that I will ever need to know. 

The most important of those lessons was that "love" is not something that can be thrown around person to person. Its rare, and it should never be wasted on each and every person that you date in your lifetime, it should be used on the people whom you TRULY do love. 

And NO you do not love three different guys in a period of 6 months. Clearly, if you think that you do... You probably have some serious attachment issues.

I can not say that my experience with love was always perfect, but it was real. 

Its quite sad for me to admit that I used to envy these women. It finally had dawned on me that they might know a quantity of relationships, but they definitely do not know a quality one.

I just hope that one day these women wake up and realize that they will never break their cycle unless they realize that having a "boyfriend" does not make you 1. smarter, 2. better, 3. prettier, 4. more desirable,  5. respected, 6. a better person, 7. cooler, 8. worthy, 9. more love able, 10. successful. 

YOU make yourself, not some man that you think you "love".

As Carrie Bradshaw put it:

"How is it that women these days have nothing to talk about other then men and relationships? I mean really... Its like middle school but we now have bigger bank accounts!" 

One thing that I learned fromm my lessons in love is that no one will EVER love you unless you love yourself first. 

And that is a fact.