Adjustment

Love.

Life.

Lessons.

Is there a purpose? A purpose for hurt? A purpose for happiness?

Honestly, like most of us... I find myself constantly wondering. What is the point?

WHY are we here?

WHY is that some people come into our lives and affect us so much- while others just pass through?

I find it crazy the ways that we affect one another.... either by loving, hurting, or both.

WHY is it that life somehow finds away to put someone there at the most inconvenient time?

It just doesn't seem fair.

You either hurt or get hurt. And in all actuality no one ever truly "wins"...

As I reflect back on the most influential people in my life I can think of a few extremely significant ones- and unfortunately either direction one of us ended up hurting the other. Them-me. Me-them.

They each taught me a lesson. Good or bad. Made me grow in different ways. Feel, doubt, hurt, laugh, love, fight.... everything possible.

Why is it that life choose to put these particular people there? In that specific moment of time...

WHY is it that life makes things so hard?

The only answer I can think of is somehow or someday the answer will come to me. I will just know. I will know the reason my heart broke and I broke hearts. Clarity will flood me... and all the uncertainty will vanish.

Maybe that moment comes during our last breath, maybe when we meet our "soul mate", or ... maybe it just comes in a peaceful minute alone.

Maybe.... it just never comes and thats the beauty of it.

I dont know.

All I know is that I fear this feeling- the feeling of venerability, loss, uncertainty, hurt.

Yet, I know this is one of those times in life when you follow your heart and do the hard thing.... because you know it is the right thing- somewhere deep down... You just know.

It will hurt. It does hurt... you feel like you are standing in a black room.

I just need to remember as time passes and your eyes adjust slowly things become more clear.