Its crazy how much life can change in 14 days.
The last two weeks have been so life changing, eye opening, happy, and sad all at the same time.
My life has been changed and re evaluated, and I as a person feel completely different then EVER before.
Yes, yes... I always write about moments, lessons, stories that have effected me or changed my life.
But these last two weeks have done more then I can even begin to describe.
I lost my grandma to cancer, went to Israel, found friendships and strong connections with amazing people, experienced and saw incredible things... and learned so much about how strong love really is.
Let me first start with my beautiful Grandma. May she rest in peace and know that her kindness, love, passion, laughter still lives on in every single person that had the privilege to know her.
I was gone for her passing and for her funeral. And as much as I never got the chance to get that final moment of closure... I know that she wanted me to be in Israel. She wanted me to be there and experience life.
I know shes watching over me. My mom lit a candle for her, one that was supposed to stay lit for 7 days.
It stayed lit for 10... and went out the moment I got home from my trip.
I know that was her waiting for me; making sure that I got home ok. Watching over me.
She was the most amazing person I have ever met. No one can say one negative thing about her. Never did she complain or say she was in pain... Never did she ask for us to stay by her side. She would tell me "go live your life, dont stay here with me... your young, beautiful, smart, you shouldn't be spending your day in a nursing home watching an old lady be sick."
But I wanted to be there.
I wanted to watch her and learn from her. I wanted to hold her hand and tell her that everything was going to be ok.
I just wish I got to say goodbye.
In a way I guess I did...
I put on note for her into the Western Wall. The only way I could say good bye... from 3000 miles away.
3000 miles away in the most INCREDIBLE country in the world.
Its crazy how much Israel changes my life and my perspective EACH time that I go there.
Its so alive, so proud, so welcoming, so peaceful. Contrary to what the media makes you believe.
There is a presence there that I have NEVER felt before. No other country I have been too seems to compare. Its like one big Jewish family ANY where that you go. Families take six strangers in and feed them lunch and welcome them into their homes every single week for Shabbat.
Where else in the world does that happen?
The people I met on my trip also were amazing.
Each one of them in their own special way.
A handful of them however, really made a huge impact on my life. I met a few girls that I know will be LIFE long friends. And some pretty incredible guys that made me laugh, cry, and showed me not EVERY single man is a asshole. And that it is ok to open up... and let someone in.
And that is pretty incredible... because I am probably the most guarded person when it comes to getting close to anyone.
I hope that everything that I have learned and realized in the last few weeks really stays with me. I hope I dont loose it, now that im back in reality.
Its so hard to keep in touch. To remember the purpose of things. To make that amazing change in your life. When your not constantly being reminded of it.
But I really hope I am strong enough not to forget.
And I hope that the choices that I make... will better my life, make me a better person, and help me grow into someone like the woman my grandma Zoya was. Someone that is so strong, kind, good, welcoming, smart, and incredible.
I want to live my life, knowing that on the day that I die; no one could say something terrible about me.
Just like Zoya.
And these amazing people that I had the chance to meet... and going to Israel; only brought me one step closer to becoming that person.
RIP babushka. I love you.
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