Career Talk

How do you know that you are on the "right" path?

From what I know so far... It takes a lot of searching, work, and effort.

Yet- nothing can possibly be more empowering.

I cant explain too you how it feels when you finally find- YOU. 

Its the most moving, exciting, scary, exhilarating, and motivating feeling.

Never in my life did I imagine that school- YES, SCHOOL would impact me this much.

I always knew what I wanted to do...

Help people. Listen to people. Be there for someone who has no one. Change lives.

I never knew how much I could learn from getting there.

So far this experience in graduate school has blown me away.

It has been hundreds and hundreds of pages of reading-books, manuscripts, flashcards, projects....

My stress level has been through the ROOF.

However, the more I learn- the more I read, go to class, talk to people in the program- the MORE I fall in LOVE with it.

It truley is changing me as a person.

Hearing stories of my classmates- their pasts... the things that they had to overcome. Things that I couldn't ever even imagine... Hearing how strong they are to be able to have pushed themselves through those times.

Learning from my professors about clients whose WHOLE life was changed and how THEY helped them make that change...

Exploring things about myself that are hard to admit and finding things that I can be proud of.

ALL OF IT.

I can truley say I am in IN LOVE with this career. I KNOW even more now that all of this is worth the effort.

I have NEVER ever EVER wanted anything more then this.

Constantly I find myself looking for any opportunities to learn more about the topics. Never before have I been SO invested in something. I want to give 160% of myself- and BE the best that I can be as a therapist.

I cant believe I get to do this for money- I get to make a difference in the lives of people.

Where do I even start to count my blessings?

Who could wish for a better career then this?

I cant wait to see how this program will continue change me as a person.

My perspective on relationships, life, people, myself- has been changed; for the better.

High vs. Low

Entitlement.

Why is it that some people feel like they are entitled to act a certain way?

For some reason THEY deserve "special" treatment, consideration, or time.

Walking all over others.

Its NOT cool, nor is it right.

We all are ENTITLED. Entitled to be treated like human beings; that are equal, living, breathing, logical and competent.

Nothing bothers me more then seeing someone treat another person who is in a "lower" position then them like garbage.

Weren't they there once too?

Even if they weren't... They dont know the reason that person is in that situation.

Probably, because they didnt have the same resources that you take for granted every single day... Jackass.

Just because you make more money, are more powerful, or more attractive DOESNT give you the right to treat someone like they are ANY less of a person then you are.

Another place that "entitlement" come into play is in relationships.

We ALL have had a boyfriend, family member, friend, co-worker that has acted like you owe them something.

The only thing you owe them is love, respect, and a chance to get to know them.

If you get to know them... and you realize you dont really like them, then once again you dont owe them anything.

You get to simply: move on with your life.

I can be the first person to vouch that its hard.

Its hard to assert yourself to other people...

I have had times in my life where I let people literally "walk all over me" pretending to be my "friends" when in reality they were taking advantage of the fact that I hate when people are mad at me.

A term we all know as "people pleaser"

Yes, I was. STILL AM....A people pleaser.

However, I now see things more clearly because I WAS used, I was hurt, and in the end I ended up being the one who was let down in the majority of situations.

It takes a lot for me to say no to someone or to stick up for myself when someone else is pushing me to do something I dont really do....

But, slowly I have been doing it more.

I am still in transition. Yes, at times I still let myself be walked on.

That doesnt mean that eventually I wont. I am in a stage of transformation.

I am becoming a stronger, better, and more self-assured adult.

Each day I learn that, there needs to be balance... You cant take others for granted; but you also cant take YOURSELF for granted either.

There has to be a line, between what is best for you- and what is best for them.

Because at the end of the day... ANYONE is capable of taking advantage.

No, they WILL take advantage- that is, if you let them.

No one is "entitled" to control you. Your life.  Other then you.

It is not right to treat anyone (friends, family, lovers, co-workers, etc.) as if you are "better" then them.

Entitlement is an ugly trait to have.

Its ok to be proud of yourself, confident in yourself, LOVE yourself.

Thats different....

Its not ok when you treat people like they are below you, like you are ALWAYS right, or that they owe you something.

Because they dont.

Especially if you are someone that isnt able to look at yourself and admit that you can be wrong.

People are in your life- simply because they choose to be.

If they choose to leave, you need to take a look at yourself and try to find WHY they keep leaving.

At the end of the day- once everyone is done putting up with it and has walked out of the door and there is no one left to blame....

Then what?

Your stuck wondering

"Why am I alone?"

Maybe because you never took the time to look at yourself. Maybe because you never realized maybe it was YOU not them that had to change.

Ive done things wrong. I have walked all over people- JUST as much as I have set out to please them.

I am human... I have taken advantage.

We ALL have.

 I am making a choice.  A choice to change those things about myself.

Too stop letting others take advantage of ME and to stop taking advantage of others.

I dont want to be alone.

I dont want to let someone feel used, unappreciated, or unloved.

I want them to RESPECT me and have nothing but GOOD things to say.

I KNOW I am not there yet.

But, at least I am on the path to be... and am able to admit that I can be wrong. And that I am not "entitled" to anything- or anyone.

I hope I never treat others as anything less then human. No matter who they are, where they come from, or what they have done.

Roads Ahead.

Life is weird.

Cant think of a better way to describe it at this moment.

I feel like through all the twists and turns it leads you exactly to the place you are supposed to be.

People come. People go.

Some leave something worth remembering.... Some remind you the ones that do are rare and to cherish them.

Things seem cloudy and confusing at times.

Until the moment when the sun shines and your remember what its all about.

Here I am.

Back in California.

 In fact-only a few blocks from Lassen and Zelzah and that creepy old apartment building where I learned more about myself, life, friendship, love and pretty much anything else that one can learn.

Different, different then the girl who was here before.

I found myself, and lost myself.... JUST how I predicted I would (refer to 2011 blog posts)

 In many ways I was able to restructure myself in the right ways. I saw how I had become OVERLY materialistic last time I lived here. I saw what a TRUE friend looks like. I realized I often undervalue myself.


This time I was still scared and nervous moving here... Once again I had NO idea what to expect.

It was the same place, but, new people. New home. New program.

The difference was that.... This time I knew I could do it.

That something BIGGER, and BETTER is meant for me.

That I WILL change lives of people. I will do something that will LAST and that I CAN achieve EVERYTHING and ANYTHING I want.

My hard work PAID off.

Yes, I am the youngest person in my program by at least 2-3 years.

Yes, I still have no idea how to make anything other then oatmeal and a sandwhich.

Yes, I cried saying bye to my mom and dad.

Yes, I am completely and utterally terrified of whats to come....

YET.

I know ALL of it is right.

I trusted my gut. I followed the guidance of the people that truly love me and care about me.  I studied. I cried. I pushed myself.

Now the road ahead of me will lead me exactly where I need to be.

It will have hills, turns, and no doubt ill get lost a few times.

But its right here in front of me.

And I CANT wait to see where it takes me.