Investment.

"No body said it was easy... But they said it would be worth it"

"Is it really worth it?" I have been asking myself this question for the last two weeks.

Two weeks, that have been FILLED with GRE prep books, flash cards, resume writing (and re writing) and HOURS spent researching graduate programs.

Needless to say I feel drained. And its only the first dent, in the next three months of my life.

I keep wondering... Why am I doing this to myself? I am only 20 years old, and this is only my third year of college.... Im already on top of my game. Why do I need to pack my schedule will 16 upper division psychology classes, try to get into graduate school, and participate in all these "extra" circular activities?

I mean I could have taken less classes, I could graduate a semester later then Spring 2012...  I could....

But, if I did that then I would be giving up something else.

I would be giving up the chance to move back to California, and be truly happy again.

Its hard in the moment sometimes... When I am sitting there looking at the pile of papers, exams, and books to remember the bigger picture.

The bigger picture of my life.

The fact that if I push myself RIGHT NOW and work hard... I can be doing something amazing in a few years.

I can be doing something that will make a difference, in someone else's life.

At moments I loose sight of this. At moments I wonder "why am I trying to grow up so fast?"

But then I remember.... Its NOT about growing up. Its not about these exams or resumes.

Its about being the person that changes someone else's life. And doing something that MATTERS.

I am ready to do those things. Sitting in a classroom, working at a meaningless job, stuck in a city that doesn't make me happy.... Isn't what I want to be doing.

And in order to be where I want to be, I need to dedicate time and effort.

Sometimes, it feels impossible.

Sometimes, I want to give up.

But  I won't.

I won't give up.... on something that I want.

And the thing that  I want  most is to make something of myself, have a voice, and help other people.

I have to hold my head high and continue this journey.

So that... In one year, I can say that "Yes, it was hard.... but I would do it all over again, because what I have achieved IS worth it."